Single Womans’ Guide to Valentine’s Day

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It’s February which means it’s Black History Month, but it also means that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. It’s no secret that many men hate this ‘holiday’ while many women look forward to it. It seems like the widely commercial nature of Valentine’s Day often leaves some women feeling lonely and longing for love and companionship more than ever. Has Valentine’s Day crept on you and caught you without a Bae or any potential dates? As cuffing season prepares to wind down, here are a few tips to navigate Valentines Day as a single woman unscathed and unbothered:


The Ex

If ya’ll weren’t already talking and trying to work things out before Valentine’s Day, girl let it go. Don’t let the pressures of Valentine’s Day have you feeling like it’s better to have something than nothing at all. Furthermore, no shade to couples, but just because you see two people together, doesn’t mean they’re actually together or even that they’re happy.

Believe it or not, men get lonely too. Therefore, don’t let a lonely text/call versus an intentional one, have you risking it all for the sake of companionship.

There’s No Such Thing As a Free Lunch

We’ve all heard this saying right? That there’s no such thing as a free lunch? Well I am here to tell that it is true! I’ll repeat, there is NO such thing as a free lunch (or dinner). Everything comes at a cost and not all costs are recoverable. What I’m getting at is you can make up lost money, but you cannot make up lost time. You don’t need to accept every ‘free’ dinner offered to you, especially when you aren’t interested in the person. Let’s be real, while the dinner is ‘free,’ often times these kinds of offers come with additional expectations (that’s another conversation), and they also cost time! You gon waste ur time, a cute outfit, and some expensive make up to sit and break bread with someone you know you don’t like? Chillle.

Think of the goals you could be working towards or the important tasks you could be checking off your to-do list with that time. We have to believe our time is more valuable than dinner and a few drinks. Make sharing your time worth something. Give your time to people you are interested in, who you genuinely want to get to know, who make you forget how much time has passed. Otherwise, keep it.

While I love the Cheesecake Factory, for example, nothing on their menu is good enough to make me go out with a man I’m not interested in just for a free meal. Can you imagine how awkward that time would be? I can politely decline and the Factory will still be there. And guess what? My debit card works just fine and I can buy my own dinner if it’s that deep.

We have to believe our time is more valuable than dinner and a few drinks.

Hang With Your Girls

No Valentine? No problem. Gather your single girlfriends and have a night on the town or a sleep over with food, movies, dranks, and girl talk. Therefore, you don’t have to be lonely and miserable Valentine’s Day, and who says it has to be spent with a romantic interest?

Fundamentally, Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love–spend it with those you love and who love you.

Treat Yo’self

Many of us are caught up in the gift giving associated with Valentine’s Day. For this reason, when someone isn’t having a dozen roses delivered to our office for everyone to see, or taking us to dinner at fancy restaurants, we start thinking we’re missing out on something. Or even worse, that we aren’t good enough. Well I’m here to tell you that you are good enough, it just isn’t your time yet. You can’t miss out on what’s not for you.

You can’t miss out on what’s not for you.

Most of all, being single doesn’t mean you have to be without, you can treat yo’self. Relaxing facial? Mani/Pedi? Massage? Treat yourself. Love flowers? Send a beautiful bouquet to yourself–with an affirming message. You don’t need a valentine to love up on yourself.


So how will you spend Valentine’s Day? What are your plans? Comment below and share with a friend!


  1. I’m single and, actually, I feel I’ve never been happier! The amount of times in the last month I’ve heard conversations about Valentine’s Day, some happy some sad, and thought to myself that I’m glad I don’t have to worry. For once, I’m gunna concentrate on me!

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